is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
