1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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