my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
