UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
