I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
