Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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