she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize
