I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
