Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
