Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Randomize
