Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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