So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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