bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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