ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
