is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
