how can u be prego again
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
