Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's always time for handjobs
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
