i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
