oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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