He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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