ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
