Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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