I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
