i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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