Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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