I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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