i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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