you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
