I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
