just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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