Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
