It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
