Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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