I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
