I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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