i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
