You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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