THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
