I bet he comes in French.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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