I wish I could punch you in the face.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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