Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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