I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
