As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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