On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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