Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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