I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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