I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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