are you still at the devil's house?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
