i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
