pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
