im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
