yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
